"I CAN" strategy for Holidays


The holidays are coming!

Living your life as an empowered person often requires the placement of boundaries – invisible “lines” across which you will not allow people or events to infringe upon your time, food or resources.


When you have clear inner boundaries in place, you know where you stand and you’re able to make decisions that support and nurture you.  


These decisions may include refusing extra obligations that you do not have the time or desire to fulfill, keeping a greater distance between you and people who expect too much, or insisting that others respect your personal food plan.


First, understand that you have the right to set boundaries. You might hesitate to set boundaries because you’re afraid that people won’t like you, or you’ll hurt someone’s feelings by refusing their request.  More often than not your own feelings will be hurt if you don’t set boundaries!  Setting boundaries involves learning to love and respect yourself, and your time and resources.


Get into the habit of affirming your own value and worth, strengthen your belief that you deserve to live a calmer, healthier, more peaceful life.  Be committed to caring for yourself first, and then helping others as time allows.  Remind yourself that you don’t have to feel guilty about not saving the world – do what you can and feel good about it. 


Build up your courage.  Learning to say “no” can be scary, but it’s important to believe that you have the strength and confidence to stand firm in your decisions.  

One good way to become more courageous is to understand that nothing bad will happen if you just say no.  

Will they be disappointed?  Probably.  

Will they stop speaking to you or get angry with you?  Probably not.  

Most often the person will simply move on and ask someone else.

If you do happen to receive a strong negative reaction when saying no, ask yourself if it really matters to you?  That may sound harsh, but you have to eventually realize that it’s not your job to make life easier for others – especially when doing so makes life more difficult for you!  

A person who gets angry about your unwillingness to do what they want is probably a person who has gotten comfortable getting their way.  In those cases it’s best to nip the problem in the bud before it takes over your life.


Always remember _No._ is a complete sentence. You can tell a lot about a person how they say no, and even more about them how they take the word no.


Be firm, but nice. One of the reasons you may hesitate to say no is because you think it will make you look unkind or selfish. Not so, that can be avoided by finding a pleasant way to say no.  

Rather than saying brusquely, “No, I won’t eat that,” you could say, “Thank you for thinking of me, that does not fit into my food plan today.” The majority of people will understand and not be upset.  

If you do receive resistance, that is the time to become firmer in your answers. 

One of the hardest parts of setting boundaries is learning to be firm with yourself! 

You may be tempted to overextend yourself to please others, even when you know it wouldn’t be in your best interests.  When that temptation arises, you’ll have to be able to override your desire to please and do what you know is best for yourself.


Knowing what you really need is important when you are striving for a healthy life.


Today we will create an “I Can” strategy for January 2020


I Can Strategies are different from goals.

I can Strategies are a necessary step to staying focused.


Use these tips below to create an I Can strategy for surviving the holidays. 

Review your an I Can strategy during the months to come. 


I Can strategies are stated in the positive. 

For example, “I will enjoy ice water with lemon, and a small plate of vegies from the vegie tray at the holiday party” this makes it clear what you want to achieve; 


“I will_______________________________________________________________”


I Can strategies are specific. 

They specifically answer the questions: who, where, when, what and how. 


Who? ________________________________________________________   

Where? ______________________________________________________ 





This I Can strategy can be used in any situation. I encourage you to make one each time a challenge comes up.


The choice for a cheat comes up, after all you have been “good”.


Prioritize, even question Off-plan Food. Ask yourself, outload in a mirror, “How will this make me feel? Is it worth the emotional, and scale price?”


Plan plan plan … and plan some more. Know where you are going, who you will be with, and what food and drink will be available to you. Be prepared.  


~~ Practice how you will respond to offers of off-plan food. Look at yourself in  

     the mirror and say out loud, “I’ve heard that dish is absolutely delicious, but   

     it does not fit in to my food plan for the day.”


~~ Browse on-line for restaurants near where you will be and study their menus.  

     Know what your options are. THERE IS ALWAYS A CHOICE. 

      I have discovered all restaurants are willing to give me a grilled a chicken  

      breast, and add some vegies. 


~~ Decide what you will be drinking ahead of time.


~~ Carry salad dressing packets that fit your plan, or bring a small travel bottle with your  

      favorite dressing from home, it is ok.


~~ Carry extra healthy snacks choices with you in your car. Try shelf stable varieties and 

      leave a few there for those just in case moments.


~~ Understand the guidelines of your weight loss plan well enough so that you can 

     stay on plan, even when you are not home.


~~ Wear well fitting clothes when you are going to a restaurant or party.  

      Well fitting clothes will serve as a constant reminder of how far you have come. Well fitting  

      cloths will make you feel well dressed and proud. When we feel good about our appearance we    

       usually make better choices.


~~ Every time you walk out your front door, you should feel confident that you 

     have the tools, the knowledge and the ability to stay on plan for the entire  

     day.  If you don’t have that confidence, you have not prepared yourself.  Go 

      back inside and try again.


Planning not to cheat only requires preparation.

The decision to "cheat" is ALWAYS satisfied very quickly,

 and typically results in deep regret over time.

The decision to "not cheat" is NEVER satisfied quickly,

 but instead is rewarded over time, and without regret.

Next year you will be glad you choose wisely today.

This is all about you.

You choose, you succeed

You choose, you regret.

You choose.


 Now go Party!